On my earlier note about control issues I would like to share a personal story, just some aspects of my work with control issues. The subjects of ‘remaining flexible’ being independent and ‘open for change’ are important to me from very early on and still are. So if you would have asked me about needing to be in control, say 40 or 30 years ago, I would have just laughed. I was sure that with me being open to life, trying to have control over it,  just has no place, does not fit. Live is to be lived, not to be controlled.

When I intensified my studies in Astrology, I found a teacher and mentor that always connected studying Astrology with energy work, I came accross plant medicine and naturally accross people that have taken Ayahuasca as part of their spiritual and healing journey. I did not attract me. Later, when I starting studying shamanic healing techniques and the ancient ceremonies and healing techniques of the Andes, most people I met on this journey have experienced Ayahuasca during sacred ceremonies, mainly in Peru, but also other states of the Amazon rainforest area. One day, during a meditation in group practices, she, the grandmother of the plant medicines, Mama Ayahuasca herself, called me. If you are on that path and a plant calls you, you follow. So I started to look for a place and the right Ayahuasciero for me and I found both. About a year later, the day after my retirement, I was on my journey to the Amazon Rainforest to stay for a week in ceremonies with plant medicines there.

Preparation is needed, but I will skip these details, as this has nothing to do with my subject of today. The one preparation that is of importance, was a mental one, and this is to let go of any outcome of this ceremony.

I could make this a very long story but to make it as short as possible – I had no idea of the depth of letting go. That first night there I was shown what letting go really means and how relieving it is to be in the flow. Since then, I remind myself often of this night, especially of letting go of an outcome that I cannot foresee or influence at the moment. Especially when I am tending to be afraid of an uncertain future – my mind knows that future is always uncertain, but that does not stop me from being afraid. I do not want to convince anybody about plant medicine, but I suggest you to find ways to really relax and let go of any outcome so that you are open to all possibilities.

There is no way to control emotions, trying to control means suppressing them and they will show up in many other distorted forms. Emotions need to be dived through, acknowledged, ‘thank you for showing me the danger’, and then you can let go, like you would stop an alarm clock when the alarm woke you up. You do not let the alarm ring all day. We have no one recipe that fits all people. There are many therapies, meditations, practices to help with this process, try them all and find the right one for you to help you learn how to dive through these difficult emotions. Controlling them is not an option and most probably leads to physical distress sooner or later.

In therapy with my clients I work with the energy that created the stress in the first place, I go to the source of the present situation as much as it is permitted. I listen, suggest and guide and listen again. This practice is not very widespread but it is how I learn, it is what I have to offer and I see the results in my clients.